CHRISTIAN COUNSELLORS

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From the counsellor

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if you need our counselling, you can trust us for security, or if you are a talented counsellor, your counselling are also welcome.

In this page, you are free to contact the counsellor for your problems or the problems of others that may serve as help for people in the same shoes. Your secrets are save with us. Your name or anything to fish you out or recognize you will not be published. Just the ideas that will help other people will be made known.

If you read the articles of the people already published, and it is the same with yours, or already resolved your problems, you may not need to write again, unless you have problems differ from the people already published.
NOTE:- We have many counselling which the page can not cover. If we dont publish yours, it will be sent to you for your individual solution.

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These are the counselling published in 2011.

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THE CLIENT- T01

Hello Counsellor, I am a Ghanaian, I married to a woman who born three children for me, we were happily living together without any quarrel both in Africa and Europe, but just of sudden , I began to dream bad dreams about my wife. Many times in the dream, she will turn to snake, lion, or any ugly figure. I did not understand any dream, I have to find people to interpret for me, but they refuse to tell me anything whenever I say my wife. Instead they will say uh uh uh, my dream has no meaning, and I wondered how can a dream could has no meaning. I decided to call my wife and explain the whole dream to her. I thought she will be frightened to hear, instead she laughed with a loud voice, “pa pa pa” and said repeatedly, “you never know anything, you will soon see yourself” I could not talk , as if it was like a drama. I began to ask people to advise me what to do. One woman who worked under my wife before, saw me under panic, she called me secretly to tell me everything about my wife, and the secret power of my wife. I did not know it how my wife knew that I have known her secret, immediately she changed. Instead of the respect she used to give me like before, she would beat me like small boy. Many times, she locked me outside to go and sleep in train station, or refused to give me food to eat. I do not have a good job, I depended on my wife financially because she was blessed, and the blessing does not start from Africa, just when we got here, in Europe.
The young woman who revealed the secret of my wife to me began to support me financially underneath, anytime my wife push me out, I would quickly run to the young woman. Sometimes, it takes weeks or month before my wife would accept me back again. I later decided to ask the young woman if she could marry me, and with joy, she accepted. Then to be on the saver side, I started to ask some elderly people to advise me before I will put neck in it, but some agree with me and some are not agree, therefore counsellor what can I do, to go in or to stay out

THE COUNSELLOR

Hello man, you must realize that what you are witnessing now is not natural, it is one of the devices of the devil to destroy home, your wife, children and yourself. It is a spiritual warfare which you have to fight. Quickly find true men of God to pray for you and do deliverance for your wife, because if you run for her to marry another wife, your children may share from her evil spirit to hunt your life. Links through blood are always powerful; it is not easy to break. To marry the young woman may bring problem of accusation in the spiritual realm to her that she snatch husband. For that, they might finished her and then descend on you too, but simple deliverance prayer will rescue you, your children and your wife. But if all your efforts fail, you may prayerfully accept the young woman, but mind you, spiritual position may not be permanent, Clean woman of today may also compromise tomorrow. Then, how many women you will run for or marry?
Note : if people contribute to this counselling, we may send it to you or if there is spaces in the magazine you read about your matter in the next issue.

THE CLIENT-TO2

I am from Sierra Leone, I married to a man and I born six children for him. I was in my third pregnancy when my husband started to flirt with women around. He did to the extent that four women out of the women he impregnated outside decided to pack in at the same time to live with us. At first I tried to resist the incoming of four women at once, but people quenched my spirit by saying, he is a man he can marry as many as he can, then I surrendered. Later the house turn to a battlefield for combat of both spiritual and physical fight. The fights were not always from me but also from other women to each other, to the extent that, we have to enter into black spirit against ourselves. It got to a time when I narrowly escape death. I ran away, divorced him took visa to come to Europe. From the time I left him, people of different categories began to call me , that immediately I left, things changed for bad to him (my ex-man) to the extent that he could not be able to maintain wives again, and all the wives have left to do mother from their parents` houses. One of my sons I born for him was pressing me badly, that I should come back to their father. When I have received more than enough pressure from all sides, I decided to call my ex-husband that I will come back to do settlement. My children and everybody were happy, but while I was preparing to go home, I heard that another young girl pregnant for him again, after 11 women. For that I was weak, either to go or not to go any more, even though people are encouraging me that I am the first wife I should not be afraid of any woman, but if anyone lack advice he may have problem. Counsellor, please can I go or forget this settlement for this man to live his life, as he wants it? tell me what to do.

THE COUNSELLOR

Hello woman! Thank God that you have your children. You must understand that the spirit that later enter your husband, may be a spiritual attack on his life, to destroy him and all his family including you. if you have never divorced him, you would have tried some men of God for deliverance prayer for him, but as you have already left, you need to seek the face of God through some true men of God, either to go or to remain. Because if you go, there is tendency for the blessing of your husband to come back, when all other women will also be forced to come back to make 12 wives and uncountable children at home. Settlement is good if God support you, but if you do things to your own wish, the virtual gift you are having in your mind, which is the right of being first wife may lead to end of your life prematurely, but if God give you go ahead, then have no fear and go.

THE CLIENT-T03

I am a Nigerian. I am here in Europe without wife for many years but doing the work of God as assistant to a pastor of the church. But I was told that if I do not have wife I cannot be recognized or be promoted to a full pastor, because marriage is one of the criteria’s for the mission to do promotion for leaders. I could not get the kind of the woman I think will help me for the work of God here in a country I am residing. I called home and negotiate my mind with friends, and a friend got me a girl, which he said, was an angel in her church. I went home to do marriage immediately and I brought her here. I did document of four years for her. Not quite long she came here to me in Europe she join gangs. I do not want to quarrel with her a new wife, I did softly with her, but to my surprise, she jumped out to stand along road for men, to do prostitution. The people that knew her began to advise her that it was an abomination for a pastor's wife to do so; instead of listening to them she packed out of my house and change church. I called her parent and mine to tell them about my new wife, and they all talked to her but she refuse to listen to any body. I went to report to immigration Police, help me and collect back the document I did on my name for her, but the police said they have no right ,only the court of law could intervene . Her whereabouts, I don't know, and to get her divorce, she moved away from here to another country in Europe where I don't know, even though I have been promoted to fully ordained pastor, but still the space of woman in my ministry is still vacant .Tell me counsellor what can I do?

THE COUNSELLOR

Hello pastor? We thanked God for your life for having courage. You must understand that many people that have famous destiny also face a lot of temptation in life and only the courageous survived. We know you must have prayed to God on this issue, but still, the steps to be taken is given you problems. Then we can suggest the following for you:
(1) After you must have consulted your creator that sent you to this world era in prayer, let your parents and her parents understand the whole matter.
(2) Let the authority of the mission, which made you to be a pastor also understand the matter, so that if you rush into another marriage, they will not take it to be fornication or adultery, or sack you away. To loose wife and the post of a pastor will be double punishment.
(3) Consult a good lawyer to advise you what says the law of the land you are, even though you are pastor, you still need to obey the law of the land both where you live and your country. Take these steps to God in prayer, if you don't see anything, you may need to call for assistance of other true men of God who have talents. Then the LORD you are serving will send the light either for your wife to come back to you or for you to marry another woman. But do not rush in to another marriage.

THE CLIENT-T04

I am a man from Ghana, I came to Europe very young , but when I saw a girl who I like to marry, and that she also come from my country, the same town and area, I spoke to her and she agreed. We were in courtship for more than 5 years. One day I went to attend one prayer meeting when they told me to look for another girl because this one will disappoint me, I did not believe this prayer people, for the love and trust I have for the girl. I tried to tell the girl what the church people told me, but she vowed that it would not happen. Later she went to Germany for a course and small business, the time she supposed to come back was expired, and she did not come. I began to hunt for her through her friends, but when she finally came back, she was pregnant for another man. I was almost fainted to see her, she quickly told many people in Italy and Africa to beg me that it was a mistake. She promised to send the baby to her parents in Africa for care, so she could easily marry me. I don't want to listen to this girl any more, but the type of the people that are talking to me on her behalf give me confusion. I am thinking that if I don't to listen to these people, it may have effect in future but to me personally, I don't want to mind the girl again, even though, she has done many things to beg me but I only told her that I hear without any action. Anytime I would want to consider her, I use to remember the future, to have a son without father in my family, what this son may become could be more than normal, I always feel bad to see this girl talking to me or listening to her. Please men of God, what can I do? Can I close my ear to all these people or I can still have second thought for this girl?

THE COUNSELLOR

Hello man! _Many times, it comes like that, when people make mistake before adjustment to normal life, but remember what the church people told you. Although if you still like the girl and she likes you God can still consider your desire and her vow for you, to work possibilities to marry each other. But if God sees that the end will not good for you HE will not permit it. Which means, you will have to pray very well to God before you either accept her back or cut away from her finally, you can also consult the true men of God to help you in prayer. What the church people told you needs to be considered very well, for instance, the church people do not know anything about you, but God shown them something, which has begun to happen. If you listen to what people say, or being afraid of anybody to judge your life ,the beginning may come sweet, but later when the problems shall come, nobody will mind you, they will tell you that you have eyes before you marry her, go away and solve your problems.

THE CLIENT-T05

I am a Nigerian, I was very small, and a school girl when my mother told me about travelling abroad, I did not understand very well, but later she and her friend presented the matter before me again, in which I was carried away to travel. I taught this would be when I must have become a big girl, but my mother's friend said no, it is now, there is somebody abroad to take care of me there. That was how I landed here in Europe without knowing how it was happed. But before we left Africa, they made me to vow with oath for paying back all the travelling expenses in which I did. Here in Europe, the person to take care of me took me to road, and taught me how to stand for men. At first, I considered myself too small for that work so I refused, but my caretaker maltreated me without food, money or document, by force I agreed to do it. My first 3 months of experience on roadside was the worst of my life, I taught the devil pushed some heavy men mightier than my age to me, I could not describe them or withstand the manhood, so I ran away to caritas's to help me. The caritas was so good to listening to me. When they heard my story, they almost cursing my mother and her friends. They accepted me and sent me to language school, and did document of a year for me with vow that I should not go back to prostitution. I was with the Caritas and they still allowed me to go and do fellowship with immigrant churches around, in which both the caritas and the church where I fellowship took my matter up seriously. But anytime I called my mother or she called me, she always rain heavy curses on my head, saying she would not stop to curse me until I return back to road for prostitution or unless I find money to settle the vow I made. The caritas found work for me 8hrs in the day, also the church I fellowship got me another work 6 hrs, in the night. I worked both two together to get tangible money quickly to send to my sponsors. But when I saw that to pay that huge amount of money with salary may kill me, I left one of the works, to have the one that pays well. My mother did not relent effort to curse me; I decided to break away from her for years without sending any money again. She could not locate me. But later manage to find some people who located me for her. They gave my phone number to her to call me, and she called me to advise me to come home in Africa for settlement. I am afraid to go because the money is not finished. Either it was true that she want me for peace or pretending to hurt me, I do not know. Please advise me either to go or not.

THE COUNSELLOR

Hello young girl----We thank God for you for having mind to take good decision before your life will destroy. When we talk about destruction of lives, many people do not understand, but they think of the physical body whereas we are talking of the spiritual aspect, which is DESTINY and SALVATION. If the mother that born you can do that to you, you must understand that she needs deliverance, but God is on your side for good action to break you away from her. Now pray very well or let the true men of God pray for you before you will accept anything from her. God will let you know if to go or not to go because if you go on your own, you may come back after a few month and have your life terminated by unknown spirits.2 As long as you don't stipulate any period of payment in your vow to them, do not rush yourself, but you have to pay because God will not joke with vow. Pray to God to give you good business, from there you will pay all your vows. You have to near God very well and engage some true men of God to do deliverance for you, so that, all the curses sent to your head from your mother her agents will be erased from you by the blood of JESUS CHRIST.

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READ FROM THE COUNSELLOR

How to be a Man

Learning how to be a man and learning how to be masculine are two different things. Being masculine may attract a girlfriend but being a man will make you a successful husband, father and person. Sadly, many boys never learned how to be a man.
In the movie Courageous, the men were asked a probing question. “When was the first time you thought of yourself as a man?"
In our Western culture there aren’t clear markers on the journey to manhood. It takes more than pubic hair, a deeper voice, or losing one’s virginity to cross the bridge from being a boy to being a man.
A boy trapped in a man’s body is not a man at all. Some drift along, extending their adolescence into their 40’s. In many primitive tribes, however, rites of passage were celebrated as one of their community’s most important rituals, albeit they involved extreme pain, torture and humiliation to prove one’s courage and endurance.
Learning how to be a man, in God’s eyes, does not involve drinking strange concoctions, shaving your head or getting circumcised. 1 Corinthians 13:11 says, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man. I put away childish things.”
Although this is true for both genders, clearly, God’s description of manhood includes the way one talks, understands and thinks. It is marked by maturity and responsible living. Does that mean you can’t play video games and pull pranks on people? Not necessarily.
The concept of maturity is very subjective. You may think you are very mature and ready for a relationship but if you asked your parents, would they agree? What if you asked your best friend or one of your teachers? Being a man and not a boy is an essential prerequisite to beginning a courtship.
So let’s break it down and identify some of the main differences between a child and an adult so that you can know if you are a man and how to become one if you aren’t already.

Men are stable in their faith

Ephesians 4:14 says, “That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive”
According to this verse, a child is someone who believes anything. They are gullible and undiscriminating. They are easily influenced and deceived. A man, therefore, is one who has developed spiritual discernment. His faith acts as an anchor in his life.
This quality is essential in leading your future family in spiritual matters. Spiritual leadership will be your primary responsibility in marriage. You have a lifesaving influence because of your role as a man.

Consider the following statistics.

Did you know that if a child is the first person to become a Christian in the family, there is only a 3% chance of the rest of the family becoming converted through their influence?
If the mother is the first, there is a 17% chance.
If the father is the first to become a Christian, there is a 93% chance of the rest of the family following his example.*

Men have wisdom through experience

Another difference between a man and a boy is their level of experience. If you want to learn how to be a man, you must master the basics. Promotion in anything requires competency at each level.
Hebrews 5:11-14 says, “We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.” (NIV)
The author of this text is making a parallel between spiritual food and physical food. His audience should be at the point where they can understand deeper spiritual truths, but instead they still need very basic instruction just like a baby needs milk and cannot digest solid food. The only way they can graduate from milk to meet is by constant use.
If you want the privileges of manhood, you must first be competent and successful implementing what you already know. Many young people have gone to church all of their lives and know all the right answers to give, but they have a huge gulf between their brain and their heart. But this principle goes for more than just advancing in spiritual truth.
Your education should be more than just book work. You may have gotten good grades in math class, but can you use your math skills to build kitchen cabinets? You may have gotten good grades in economics or accounting but how are your own finances? You may have taken a psychology class, but are you skilled in getting along with others and do you really understand yourself?
If you want to know how to be a man, take advantage of the opportunities around you and put into action your faith, your knowledge and your skills. Don't lean on someone else to feed you whether that be spiritually, financially, or emotionally.

Men are strong

Of all the things a father can say to his son on his death bed, look at what King David told his son Solomon.
Now the days of David drew nigh that he should die; and he charged Solomon his son, saying, I go the way of all the earth: be thou strong therefore, and shew thyself a man” (1 Kings 2:2)
Here we see a connection between strength and manhood. "Many people mistake strong, uncontrolled passion for strength of character, but the truth is that he who is mastered by his passions is a weak man" (Child Guidance, 161)
"Strength of character consists of two things--power of will and power of self-control" (ibid). If you want to learn how to be a man, develop these two things. Indeed, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” Proverbs 16:32
The very first piece of instruction King Lemuel’s mother gave to him was, “Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.” Proverbs 31:3

It is evident that self control determines the strength of a man.

“The real greatness and nobility of the man is measured by his powers to subdue his feelings, not by the power of his feelings to subdue him. The strongest man is he who, while sensitive to abuse, will yet restrain passion and forgive his enemies.” (Child Guidance, 161)
Anger and lust tend to be common problem areas for men. In your quest for knowing how to be a man, take an inventory of those two aspects of your life and seek to develop self control in those areas. I strongly recommend doing this before entering into a courtship.

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