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In the year 2011, a country in Europe, of more than 60 million in population, the research showed that there were 16 million women both old and young looking for husbands, while 11.3 million men also looking for wives. The question then was that, what blocked the men to see all these women or women to see those men? It was communication Gap. In this page, our counsellors will help many Christians through this magazine in different places of worship to be a link for the people in this need. This will be differentiated from popularly called online dating. We shall need to adopt a Christian method |
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If you want to pick your Christian partner or you want to be picked, there is a form of instruction for you to complete. In that form, you will have to describe yourself to entice a person who has never met you, in the way he or she will be eager to know you. Click here for the forms.Click Here |
How the Courtship vs DatingDebate is ChangingIf you were to ask me several years ago to give you a rundown of courtship vs dating I would have easily pulled out my notes and let it rip. But the more I read online, the more Ive seen that (at least in Christian circles) courtship and dating mean different things to different people. Recently, after someone Ive mentored finally decided to declare that they were in a relationship, they didnt know if they should call it dating or courting. Both terms seem to have connotations that their belief system doesnt represent. Previously this is how I would have articulated the two paradigms of pursuing romance, the courtship vs dating debate: Dating Paradigm Begins with romantic interest and curiosity as a foundation. Emotional attachments develop with no intention to marry. The goal is pleasure. Driven by feelings and impulse. Live in the moment mentality. Dating builds experience with the opposite sex and develops maturity. Views sexual intimacy as something casual. Esteems ones own opinion as a sufficient guide and often considers the counsel of others as meddling. Doesnt see anything wrong with letting crushes and short term relationships distract you from school or other opportunities that can prepare you for the responsibilities of adult life. Is always looking for relationships to fill the loneliness and boredom of life. Uses artificial environments for evaluating a persons character. Sees nothing wrong with flirting. Focus is on pleasing yourself – God will understand if moving in together saves money. Views relationships as the reason for living. Each couple takes from the other out of their emptiness. Begins with friendship and trust as a foundation. Only serious candidates for marriage are considered. The goal is commitment. Driven by rational thinking, study and prayer. Long term mentality. Its best to prevent numerous emotional attachments to avoid unnecessary heartbreak and regret. Esteems purity – there is a commitment to guard the sacredness of sex. Humbly embraces the counsel of parents and trusted mentors to help navigate the choice to marry or not. Waits until maturity and life preparedness is reached before pursuing a serious relationship with the opposite sex. Aims to be content while single and enjoy that time of life through deep fellowship with the Lord and personal growth. Intentionally looks for real life scenarios to hang out so that you can see who a person really is. Sees flirting as immoral because it trifles with hearts and develops habits that will be carried into married life. Focus is on pleasing the Lord – You dont base your obedience to Gods word on feelings. Sees God as the only one who can satisfy the deepest longings of their souls. Each couple gives out of their fullness. Debra Fileta, author of True Love Dates, comments about the courtship vs dating debate in an article posted in Relevant Magazine, ;The world of dating can be hard to navigate for a young Christian. Dating in wider society is often portrayed as a feel-good experience. If you feel right together, if youre having fun, if theres passion and pleasure, then it must be a good relationship. But if this is the foundation of a relationship, commitment is often trumped by chemistry and loyalty is often replaced with lust. Its a mentality that causes us to live in the moment, rather than building a future at the same time. Its no wonder Christians tend to freak out about dating. Rather than trying to navigate through the world of dating in a healthy way, its easier to overcompensate for one extreme by simply developing another. So in the Christian community, models of courtship, no kissing until the altar, God-told-me-to break-up excuses and other confusing circumstances abound. Our struggle as human beings is maintaining balance. Its common for people to swing from one side of the pendulum to the other. As a result of people going to extremes in how they do courtship I;ve begun to see more people feel uneasy about identifying with that word. This is what one blogger said concerning courtship: To me, courting became an ideal in the same way that socialism is an ideal — and while I flirted briefly with socialism as a 13 year old (reading some of Marxs own writings), it didnt take me long to see that what sounded great in theory and on paper resulted in disaster and catastrophe when implemented in real life. Through observing the experiences of others, reading exhaustively, and studying Scripture, I have come to the same conclusion about ;courting as a philosophy — it works much better on paper than it does in practice. How does it work out in practice? Read here see how some people have carried the idea to extremes and their implementation has given the name a bad rep. Read here to see how it worked out perfectly fine for others. As I ponder the whole debate of courtship vs dating I recognize that it doesnt really matter what you call it. Its your life, not the label that counts.Your goal is to have a happy marriage and glorify God in the process. You know what? You can do that through arranged marriages, healthy dating or courtship. |
MARRIAGE COMPATIBILITY7 Critical Areas to EvaluateMarriage compatibility should be considered before you get into a serious relationship. Don't wait until you are emotionally and physically involved before you start logically evaluating the wisdom of such a union. If you are in a relationship and it's heading toward marriage or if you are attracted to two people at the same time but don't know which one you should pursue, these 7 marriage compatibility categories will help guide you in making the right decision. While it’s true that you need someone different to complement you, research findings are highly consistent that the most stable marriages are those involving two people with many similarities. All similarities are assets but what similarities are most critical for marital happiness? These 7 categories will help you asses your marriage compatibility and provide great conversation in your courtship. Here are the areas which strengthen a relationship the most and contribute to the overall health of the marriage SPIRITUAL BELIEFS It is imperative that you are not unequally yoked. This phrase comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14 which says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” Being “equally yoked” is actually an agricultural term. It has to do with how two oxen are placed side by side to produce straight furrows. The oxen need to be the same size so one does not pull more weight than the other does. If you have ever rowed a boat with someone else you will know that if one person is stronger than the other, you can start going in circles. Oxen can do the same thing if they are unequal in size and strength. Their time ploughing will then be unproductive. That is how relationships work. If you are not on the same page spiritually, you will find yourself going in circles. In the words of Keith Battle, the lead pastor at Zion Church, “Know who your Master is and what your mission is before you select your mate. If your mate cannot support your mission you’ll have a mess.”VALUES, CONVICTIONS AND INTERESTS Surprisingly, you both can be very strong Christians and yet have huge disagreements when it comes to how you live out your faith in daily life. This is why marrying someone from your particular denomination may not guarantee that you are equally yoked. For example, you may both be convicted that proper nutrition is important. But how far do you carry that when you’re on a tight budget – do you buy cheap, low nutrition foods or cut costs somewhere else? When you are traveling – do you pack a lunch or eat out? When you are with relatives and they serve something you believe is not healthy – do you politely decline or compromise because it’s a rare occasion? When you go to a theme park – do you indulge because “it’s part of the experience”? When someone offers your child candy, will you let them so you don't appear rude? There are dozens of values on which couples need to agree. This is a strong, fundamental issue that can cause great joy in a relationship if there is compatibility. |
